So you want to ask her out

Posted by Thomas Wed, 09 Mar 2005 17:52:46 +0000

Drew wrote this for his Lunch Bible Study. I couldn’t pass up posting it here. And now, for your reading enjoyment, “So you want to ask her out”.

♥ So you want to ask her out ♥

Introduction
This document is a description of the Drew Gibson methodology for asking a female out on a date. This method has been rigorously researched and tested by Drew. Though it has had many successful implementations, your mileage may vary. This document does not describe how to make an initial pick-up of a woman (Are those moon pants? Because you’re butt is out of this world), but is instead for usage upon unsuspecting female friends or casual acquaintances.

The approach
When asking a girl out, I prefer to do it in person. Telephone is acceptable, however instant messenger or e-mail is just weak. Before the approach, make sure you are neatly groomed. For example, among other things, make sure your hair is not messed up and your fly is zipped up. Basically you don’t want to make it any harder for her than is has to be to say (possibly) yes. You don’t have to get all dressed up, just be your normal presentable self.
I prefer to do the actual asking out while you are both alone unless you want to make your humiliation or successful procurement of a date public. So get her alone and initiate conversation to butter her up. I prefer Country Crock. It shouldn’t be deep soul searching conversation, just chit-chat, perhaps about cool that Drew Gibson guy is.

Going in for the kill
After you have briefly chatted up your potential date, it is time to go in for the kill. There are a variety of ways to actually ask her out, but it is best to be direct about your intent. My preferred line is so “So anyway, I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date with me.” Saying things like, “Maybe we could catch a movie sometime,” or “Maybe we could get dinner some time,” may not get your point across. I feel it is best to say the word “date” somewhere in the supplication so she will know you intend it as one.
It is also best to avoid specifics when you ask her for a date. For instance:

Bad:
You: “I was wondering if you would like to be my date to go see Wrestlemania this Saturday.”
Her: “Aww, I can’t. I’m going to see NASCAR up in Fort Worth this weekend.”

This is a malformed appeal because if she says no, then one cannot be certain what she was saying “no” to; your pathetic self or Wrestlemania. But in my experience, no woman can resist the siren call of Wrestlemania. Sure, if the girl is interested, she could say that she is free next weekend, but it is best to avoid specifics.

The response
If she says no, don’t take it to hard. You’re just an unattractive person who no one could ever love. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Look on the bright side, instead of having to spend your Friday night paying for someone’s dinner and having awkward conversations with them, you can sit around in your underwear, eat chips, and play video games. Also, many people find sending a check to Drew in the amount they would have spent on a date very therapeutic.
If she says yes, then set down some specifics. You don’t necessarily have to nail down an itinerary, but try to set down a day. This is also a good time to get her phone number if you don’t know it already.

Posted in Women | 2 Comments

Comments

  1. Drew said on August 4, 2005 @ 2:06 am:

    This is the stupidest thing I have ever read.

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