The plans I have for you

Posted by Thomas Sun, 07 Jan 2007 23:59:45 +0000

Maybe it’s been the up-teen hours of Scrubs that I’ve watched over the past several weeks, but tonight I am feeling mysteriously better about my life. I just finished catching up, having watched all of the Scrubs episodes through the current season and episode. Like most television shows, at the end of their 30 minutes, whatever mystery or problem plaguing the characters seems to find resolution. And you might not think that life is really like that…

There are many days that I feel completely overwhelmed in my life. And there aren’t too many people in this world that I talk to about stuff like that, and it seems like that pool grows smaller and smaller every day. I get tired of talking about the mundane details of my life, and I’ve never been one much for small talk, so that does not lend itself very well to me keeping up with some of my best friends.

But somehow at the end of every episode, things are all right. And, you know what kind of show it is, so there isn’t truly much doubt that things will turn out okay, even when things look their most bleak. And somehow it’s the same way with my life. There hasn’t been a day gone by in years when I honestly didn’t know in my heart of hearts that my future is secure. But there are too many days when I can’t for the life of me see my next step, and too many days where I can’t imagine a wife and a family, and too many days when I feel like I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing. And knowing that my life is going according to plan does not always grant me solace.

But there are times, when I briefly glimpse clarity, and know that we really are going to be alright.

I just wish someone could tell me what I’m supposed to be doing here. And I wish I had someone to go through life with me and help me get through all of those little things that I need nudges to do. And I wish I had someone to vent to and someone I can listen to. Someone whose life I have a vested interest in.

It’s just so hard for me to know that in the end everything will be alright when I can’t see my next step.

Posted in General | 1 Comment


  1. bigbrother0074 said on January 8, 2007 @ 3:19 am:

    I’m glad for you, Thomas.

    Oh, and I haven’t seemed to be around at all when you’re on your computer. I’ll try to remember to give you a call when you’re off work. Those comments are driving me crazy!

    Oh, and the next step is to come back to Texas. Cole has a job for you! We want you back, buddy.

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